Maxed Out

It's been one of those days.  No, not the kind where everything goes wrong and you can't figure out how to get back on track, although we've had several of those around here too.  It's been one of those days where even though you didn't have much on the docket, you feel tired and behind and like if your two year old nails you in the boob with her knee ONE MORE TIME you might just lose your ever-loving mind (and make the local headlines Local Mother Gets Medieval on Child's Butt).  I am flat out overwhelmed, exhausted, and I'll admit it, depressed.

I think every young mom goes through periods where she feels like she is going crazy and I am deep in that feeling right now.  Between having to move a few weeks after Matthias was born and still trying to let the last of the moving dust settle, a baby who doesn't take naps (I mean seriously!!!), a toddler that is into everything, and frankly, a whole lot of rogue hormones going wild inside me I really feel like I'm losing my mind.  Don't get me wrong, I love being a stay at home mom (and I'm good at it too).  But I hit a moment this evening where I thought to myself (as I nursed the baby and Abigail climbed back and forth across the couch via my back), if one more hand gets stuck in my hair or one more thing so much as TOUCHES me, I'm handing the kids to Jeremy and going to the nearest coffee shop BY MYSELF.  I mean really, how many times do I have to tell Abby "legs are strong and you don't have good control of them, so stop kicking" or "Use the baby's shoulders to move him, not his head" or "stop hitting your brother" or "Please go around my legs, don't climb on top of me while I'm nursing." (by the way, I've said all of those in the last 20 minutes.)  Sheesh.

There is a mountain of 4 loads of laundry waiting to be conquered on the bed. ("stop, don't throw that stick at your brother!") Dinner isn't started.  The house is in such a state I don't know how I'm going to dig myself out.  I vacuumed today.  I vacuumed while both my kids screamed bloody murder.  ("I said STOP poking him with the stick.")  Matthias was already upset and Abby goes ballistic whenever I run the vacuum.  Her terror further increasing Matthias's tears. Also, the dog got panicky (just to add a little more chaos).  Then I remembered, this is why I can never ever vacuum without backup.   ("Whoa, get up!  You can't put all your weight on him like that!")

I feel like I should be able to handle this.  I should at least be able to get ONE thing done a day.  It shouldn't take me 2 weeks to fold the laundry (while load after endless load builds up)!  ("I know you're hungry.  Please stop whining and ask me nicely.")  The bathroom shouldn't be growing pink mildew by the time I get around to smearing a sponge around the sink.  I feel like I'm barely coping and I'm not even accomplishing anything.  Ok, that's not strictly true, I'm mothering.  Which is no small task.  My children are in one piece (that is the bare minimum, after all), they are fed, and most importantly, they know that they are loved.  But it sure would be nice to have the dishes done or have clean, folded clothes in our drawers (I can hardly even imagine).

Excuse me now while I feed my children (again), give baths, put on their pj's, find their blankets that they can't sleep without, make sure teeth get brushed, bounce, rock, burp, nurse, kiss, clean up spit up, disentangle fingers from my hair, nurse, beg the baby to go to sleep, tip toe out of his bedroom, (nope, he's crying again), bounce, burp, rock, tip toe, sigh....

Ok, I'm back.  And it's worth mentioning that, while the above sentence only took seconds to read, it actually took about 2 hours to live.  All this is too say I'm pooped and I'm discouraged and sometimes I feel guilty for feeling pooped and discouraged.  I mean, this is precious time with these little ones.  But seriously, this is insane!  How can such a short period of time take so looooooong?  I'm so grateful for my mom who encourages me when I call her to meltdown and rejoices with me over every little thing that my little ones are learning and doing and sympathizes with me when things just don't seem to be working out at all.  I'm so grateful for her telling me that what I feel is normal (even if I'm not convinced that's true) and that these pre-school years are some of the hardest I'll push through.  And I'm thankful for her conversation that gives me a window to the outside world beyond the four walls of this house and reminds me that other people live lives, some normal, some crazy, and that this season will give way to a new one.

And Jeremy, since I know you are one of the only people who reads this, I just want you to know I'm grateful to you too.  And I love you.  And thanks for dealing with the crazy!

Oh yeah, I have a blog...

Actually, I didn't forget that I have a blog.  In fact, I've thought of several things that I would like to post but 1) it seemed inappropriate to write a blog post after a several month long hiatus without at least introducing this guy first

and 2) I HAVE NO TIME!

Anyway, this little guy decided he didn't love the name June Bug (for his June 6th due date) and decided to arrive on May 30th instead (less than 24 hours after my mom arrived!).  Here are some highlights of his arrival (photo creds to my sister-in -law, Sarah):

Daddy meets his son for the first time

7 pounds, almost 14 ounces

First bath

Trying to get a glimpse of baby brother with Grandma

Siblings meet for the first time 

His feet are almost as big as hers!

His name is first name is Matthias, which means Gift of God.  His middle name is Manoogian, which is Armenian for Son of Immanuel and has a rich family heritage on my husband's side.  We think he's pretty amazing!  And here are a few more images of his introduction to the world.  Once again, thanks to Sarah.

Baby Brother

Yesterday Abby and I had a conversation about her baby brother who is coming soon.  She likes to rub and hug and kiss my belly and HOLLER “Hi BABY!” into my belly button.  I pretty sure she thinks that my belly button is the portal through which we can communicate with the baby (she kisses, pokes and even zerbets my belly button all in the name of loving on her brother).   Here are some of the highlights of our conversation this morning. 

We talked about how she could be such a good helper and pick out clothes for the baby and help with diapers.  She was most interested in knowing if she could help feed the baby with a bottle (she recently helped her Teta bottle-feed some new puppies.  It was the highlight of her week).  I’m planning to nurse but I will also pump so I’m sure she’ll get a chance to help with the bottle.  She also asked a bunch of times about holding the baby on her lap, on her knees, or on her chest.  Apparently, this is of great importance to her.

We talked about how she could help give the baby a pacifier (she calls a pacifier a “bah…” dunno why).  She no longer uses a pacifier but a few children in her nursery at church still do so we talked about who still has a bah and who is all done with theirs.  She asked if “Grandpa all done with bah?”  Yep!  “Grandma all done with bah?”  Yep!  Her response: “Grandma a big boy!” (close enough).

She wanted to know if she should “share potty the baby?”  I told her that the baby wouldn’t be ready for the potty for a while but she could help change his diapers.  She seemed to understand and said that he would have to wait til he is a “big girl” to use the potty (yeah, she hasn’t quite grasped the gender thing yet).

My favorite part was when she asked “baby coming soon?”  We’ve been telling her for a few weeks that he would be here soon but seeing as a week probably feels like an eternity to her I don’t think she really believes us anymore.  I told her he should be here in about 4 Sundays, or 4 weeks.  Then she adopted her best bartering tone, the one she uses when negotiating how many bedtime stories we should read her at night and said “One week!” (I guess that’s her final offer).  Sorry kiddo, 4 weeks or I’ll be answering to Grandma who wants to be here for the delivery.  

Living with a two year old.

You know how some days you just have a really good day?  Well, yesterday I had a really good day.  Abby was delightful, chatty, cuddly, and patient.  I vacuumed just about every vacuum-able surface in my home (whoa, nesting!).  Abby and I danced in the living room to some Gershwin in the morning, played pretend with her baby doll after I finished most of the vacuuming, did a little craft after lunch, and generally had a good time.  I still had energy by her nap time to finish some household chores and make a strawberry cake (seriously!).  Supper was almost on time.  It was a healthy salad and Jeremy enjoyed it.  And we got Abigail to bed on time.  I really needed a day that wasn't filled with exhaustion, temper tantrums (from Abby, not me), and mini crisis. Last week was so friggin exhausting and was filled with blood, bruises, and tears from the little one (I'm not beating her!  She has just suddenly become remarkably clumsy.  Growth spurt maybe?).  Jeremy is working 10 days straight this "week" for his job so to have a day where the pieces all just came together (yesterday was day 7) really gave me the boost I needed.  I mentioned to several people at church on Sunday that I would appreciate prayers for the rest of this week and I guess some people got on their knees on my behalf.  Thank you!

TODAY on the other hand is a different story (so, ummm, yeah keep praying for us)

We've only been up an hour and so far these are the things that have caused Abby to melt down into tears and wailing:

• her door wouldn't close
• she couldn't put her sock on
• she wanted me to hold her
• I held her
• she wanted to bring a bulky toy down the stairs and I told her no (she brought it anyway when I wasn't looking)
• she wanted oatmeal for breakfast
• I gave her oatmeal for breakfast
• it was too hot
• I blew on the oatmeal
• I offered her some juice
• she wanted to watch the garbage truck instead of eat breakfast
• she wanted to watch sesame street
• sesame street took too long to set up on Netflix
• no reason whatsoever

I guess she's making up for being so delightful and fun yesterday. Hoping the day goes uphill from here.

Spiced Lentils with collards over rice

This is a budget friendly meal that is healthy and has a good dose of flavor.  This is a homely little dish but what it lacks in visual pleasure it will make up for on your taste buds and in your body.  This is roughly what I did (I don't really follow recipes so writing what I do out on the blog feels a little weird for me most of the time.  It's good for me so I can go back and see what I did.  What follows is much more accurate to my method than typing out actual measurements).

Spice Lentils with Collard Greens over Rice

Soak lentils over night

Pressure cook in chicken broth til tender (about 7-8 min for me)

Boil a large bunch of collard greens in salted water for 7 minutes.  Drain into a colander and rinse with cold water to stop the cooking (basically you're blanching them).  You could use spinach instead of collards and skip this step and just at the spinach near the end of cooking (I liked the stronger taste of the collards though).

Caramelize 2 onions.  Add the following spices to taste: Cumin, Coriander, Fennel seed (so Jeremy can try to imagine there is some sausage in there somewhere), Arabic 7 Spice (recipe below), cardamom, salt and pepper.  Let it get frangrant.  Add 4 cloves garlic.  

Add the drained lentils (I used half of the 1 lb bag after it was cooked- saving the other half for something else).  Add the collards.  Splash of white wine.  A little chicken bouillon (I dissolved mine in about 1/4 cup warm water).  A squirt of Sriracha. Simmer.  Adjust to taste.

We served it over seasoned rice (you could do brown rice or quinoa or a nice flatbread).  It was very thick, not soupy.  And it was pretty tasty!

I used this recipe as my jumping off point: http://food52.com/recipes/8552-spiced-lentil-sambusas

  I would love to fill some wonton wrappers with the filling and bake it up for some snacks (I'm always so hungry around 4pm)- of course then it's no longer gluten-free but I'm pretty sure Jeremy will forgive me for eating most of the lentils as he is not over the moon about them in general).

Arabic 7 Spice:

I mixed up a bunch of Arabic 7 Spice a while ago and like to throw it things that I want to give a middle Eastern flair to.  (you could mix up a bunch too or just adjust the recipe above to reflect these flavors). The recipe is:

1/2 tsp Cumin

 "       Black pepper

 "       Cardamon

1 tsp.   Nutmeg

2 tsp.   Cinnamon

1/2 tsp. cloves

3/4 tsp.  allspice

Thai Beef Salad

I got the inspiration for this yummy salad from Iowa Girl Eats and then made it my own.  When you're married to a meat-loving man (even one who is starting to reform) sometimes when you say salad is for dinner you get that look.  You know, THAT look.  The one that says do we have any chicken breasts in the fridge?  Maybe I'll just pour myself a bowl of cereal after dinner.  Not so with this salad.  You see this salad is topped with meat, red meat.  I always underestimate the amount of time required to make a dinner salad because I think with no cooking involved it'll whip of in no time.  Unfortunately, there is a lot of cutting and chopping action so planning accordingly.  This salad was a hit and I would definitely make it again if the stars I mean ingredients align.

Thai Beef Salad

Ingredients:
For the dressing:

• Juice from one lemon (or two limes)
• 1/4 c soy sauce
• 3 tablespoons olive oil
• 1 tablespoon roasted sesame oil
• 2 tablespoons brown sugar
• 1 garlic clove, minced
• 1 tablespoon fresh grated ginger (I keep mine in the freezer and find it grates very easily after about a minute on the counter
• 1 teaspoon sriracha sauce (or other hot sauce)

For the Salad

• 1/2-1 cup of thinly sliced beef (I used left over roast beef from earlier in the week)
• Several handfuls of assorted spring lettuce greens
• 1 cup of cabbage, sliced thinly
• 1 mango, diced
• green onions, chopped
• cilantro, chopped
• 1 shallot, sliced thinly and sauteed in 1 tablespoon of butter til browned and crispy, drained on a paper towel.
• salted peanuts

Mix the dressing together with a whisk and pour about 1/3 of it over your beef to soak up the flavors.  Premix your salad ingredients or arrange salad bar style.  Top with dressing.

Our favorite way to eat broccoli

Broccoli.  Big Whoop.  I know, I know, but around here we love broccoli.  Even my two year old eats it and she hasn't been eating much of anything these days.  I doesn't hurt to have an AMAZING sauce to drizzle over the broccoli.  Jeremy has loved broccoli since he was a kid and he says this is his favorite way to have it prepared EVER.  It's not fancy but it tastes completely awesome.

INGREDIENTS

• 1 1/2 pounds fresh broccoli, cut into bite size pieces
• 2 tablespoons butter
• 2 cloves garlic, minced
• 3-4 tablespoons soy sauce
• 2 teaspoons white vinegar
• 1 tablespoon brown sugar
• 1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
• Optional add ons: sesame seeds, salted peanuts or cashews, sprinkle of lemon zest...

DIRECTIONS

1. Place the broccoli into a steamer basket fitted in a large pot with about 1 inch of water in the bottom. Bring to a boil, and cook for 7 minutes, or until tender but still crisp. Drain, and arrange broccoli put broccoli into a serving bowl.
2. Wipe out the pan and melt the butter in a small skillet over medium heat. Crush the garlic into the butter and stir it for about 30 seconds.  Add the soy sauce, vinegar, brown sugar, and pepper. Bring to a boil for a few seconds then remove from the heat. (Mix in any add on here- we rarely do but the possibilities are intriguing).  Pour the sauce over the broccoli. Serve immediately.