It's not all bubbles and kisses

Well, today was a full one.  I took Abby out grocery shopping once Jeremy came home from work so he could nap.  I still sometimes forget that everything takes about a bajillion times longer when you're doing it with a toddler.  A toddler with a strong mind of her own.  She wasn't bad or anything.  She was really very sweet but you can only do so much to rush a 2-year-old through aisles of new and exciting things.  Especially when that 2-year-old is Abby.  It's ok.  I wasn't in a hurry.  But I didn't expect the shopping to take us over three hours!  Needless to say, Abby got hungry as the afternoon went on.  No problem.  We were in the grocery store after all.  I picked up a small thing of blueberries that were on sale, found a bathroom to rinse them off, and offered them to her.  She was hungrier than I thought.  She finished off all 6 ounces of blueberries (please remember this as it has bearing later on) before moving on to two sticks of string cheese, and a slice of whole wheat bread.  Don't worry, I paid for all these things and I never offer her anything that is paid for by the pound.  Mothers of toddlers, don't pretend that you haven't offered your child something in the store just so you can finish your errand without the little thing dissolving into a pile of snotty, teary, hungry hysterics. :)  Once fed, we trotted meandered through the aisles finishing our list with Abby back in bright spirits and charming all the grandmotherly types we encountered.

I tell you this part of my morning simply so that I can tell you the real adventure of our day, which took place after bringing Abby home and putting her down for her nap.  Jeremy and I grabbed some food, chatted, and worked on a few chores around the house. When Abby awoke (or I should say alerted us to the fact that she was awake) it was with piteous whining and whimpering coming from her room.  This is not altogether uncommon, though she more often calls out "mama" cheerfully.  I decided that she could wait the 3 minutes it would take me to finish sweeping the bathroom so Jeremy could mop.  Believe me, had I known what awaited me upstairs I might have rushed a bit more, or better yet, sent Jeremy up.  When I went in her room my first thought was "gosh, the diaper pail is sure stinking up the place."  Then I saw my dear child, standing in her crib, pajamas unzipped, diaper discarded to the side and I thought "well, that's an interesting bit of experimentation." THEN I saw the crib with multiple pellets of damp poo seeping through the sheets and into her mattress pad.  At this point I said out loud "Oooooohhhhhh booooooooooooy..."  I don't remember saying this but Jeremy says he heard it downstairs and that was his first clue to keep his ear pricked should I call him for backup.  Abby looked up at me miserably, big welling tears in her eyes, just staying this side of panic and stated the obvious, "poopy" followed by "poopy, poopy, yucky, poopy."  At this point I still thought I could handle the situation on my own.  Then I reached out to pick her up, comfort her, and, for heaven's sake, get her clean.  Yeah, that's when I discovered that her pjs were soaking wet and that the poop in the crib wasn't all accounted for.  There was more poop down each leg of her pajamas, smooshing its way into the backs of her knees and the tops of her socks. Yay.  Let me be clear that this was not diarrhea (thank God), just regular poop.  This was when I decided the divide-and-conquer approach would be best and called Jeremy in to survey the situation.  We stripped our child and her bed and began clean up.  I'm glad to say that I still was calm enough and had the presence of mind to ask Jeremy to get the camera.  Oh yes I did!  I should warn you now that the following image is not for the faint of heart but it also bears saying that it in no way demonstrates the full nastiness of the situation either.  Oh yes, it was worse than it looks.  But it looks pretty bad.  You have been warned.

Me in all my pregnant glory holding my two-year-old in all her poopy  glory.  You know that's how we roll.

The pajama situation in the sink.

I know that might be too much for some people but again, I have to emphasize that it was much worse than it appears in the picture- here the clean up had already begun.  I would like to remind you of the 6 ounces of blueberries that she ate for lunch.  Yes, they made their first debut during what I am now calling "the incident."  Obviously a bath was called for (as well as a load of laundry).  Abby was completely freaked out that such a horrible thing could come from her own body and she was so powerless to fix the problem once it started.  She did enough freaking out for the three of us so Jeremy and I just laughed and took it in stride and tried to comfort her- oh how far we've come!  Her diaper, by the way, was completely dry (you know, the one discarded in the crib).  Closest we can figure, she probably took the diaper off BEFORE her nap, slept and peed in her jammies, awoke and had to poop, then totally freaked out.  So just another adventure in parenthood.  Some days you get bubbles and kisses and other days you get poop. On everything.  It's just nice to know I'm not the first and I won't be the last.  Besides, I have a great picture to hold over her head for decades to come.   You think you were embarrassed by those cute little naked bath pictures your mom took of you when you were two?  HA!  And yes, in 19 weeks we're adding another monkey to our circus (and I couldn't be more excited!).